________________________________________________________________________________ Correction Filmophobe 1 Correction lk:8: [Who is -> (often superfluous)] an intellectual in this culture? lk:8: Who speaks for [whom -> (often incorrectly used for "who")]? lk:12: Bougie [Who is -> (often superfluous)] excluded by what means? lk:21: How [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] we shut you up and force you to listen? lk:25: Le regard How [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] we stop your look at the surface of the skin? lk:27: How [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] we make ourselves invisible? lk:28: How [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] we violate your robbed speech? lk:28: How [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] we destroy so that we [may -> = Do not confuse with "can".] speak? lk:33: It [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] die [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] with destruction. lk:34: You [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] hear [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] when you are destroyed, when the blood screams in your ears. lk:37: Ecran divise [There is -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] no split screen; [there are -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] bodies, tied, held in bondage; [there are -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] holes and ears held open by force; [there is -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] emptiness and death waiting in the wings. lk:47: You are [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] good in our disguise. lk:52: You have eyes [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] for each other. lk:58: We place wires across the road, you [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] catch us in your headlights, you [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] be devoured. lk:62: Sequence You [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] continue forever. lk:64: [They -> (do not use as substitute for "each, each one, everybody, every one, anybody, any one, somebody, some one")] catch nothing. lk:71: The film has come to a close; the theater has burned, [there are -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] no replacement parts. lk:72: At the table, destroy, she said; no [one -> When used as a pronoun, it must be used consistently: One must manage one's money carefully.] listened; someone disconnected. 28 phrases in 50 sentences found. readability grades: Kincaid: 2.6 ARI: 2.5 Coleman-Liau: 8.5 Flesch Index: 92.6 Fog Index: 5.4 1. WSTF Index: 0.6 Wheeler-Smith Index: 4.0 = below school year 5 Lix: 21.8 = below school year 5 SMOG-Grading: 6.5 sentence info: 1883 characters 457 words, average length 4.12 characters = 1.24 syllables 50 sentences, average length 9.1 words 20% (10) short sentences (at most 4 words) 2% (1) long sentences (at least 19 words) 14 paragraphs, average length 3.6 sentences 20 questions, 5 imperatives longest sent 35 wds at sent 27; shortest sent 3 wds at sent 22 Filmophobe ii Correction ww:2: Filmophobe ii Films non-parlants is about those of us thinking about the world without the money to do [so -> (do not use as intensifier)]. ww:12: Brillouin years ago described the universe in terms [which -> (use "that" if clause is restrictive)] brought econ- omics into the equation: ww:15: [One -> When used as a pronoun, it must be used consistently: One must manage one's money carefully.] [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] speculate that [there is -> (a dead phrase; rewrite the sentence and it will probably improve)] a correlation [between -> (choose "between" 2 options and "among" 3 or more)] expense and result, that the results [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] continue to unravel the results, that economics [will -> (shall is sometimes used with first person pronouns and the future tense. It expresses something you believe will happen, not something that you are determined to do. A drowning man shouts: "I shall drown, no one will save me!")] continue to unravel economics, within a general tendency to increase. ww:20: In other words, economics plays a possible role in the [very -> (use sparingly and emphasize by strong in themselves)] description of the physical world; [one -> When used as a pronoun, it must be used consistently: One must manage one's money carefully.] [might -> (do not confuse with "may")] say the same, for example, in the con- stant search for larger prime numbers, [which -> (use "that" if clause is restrictive)] is dependent both on algo- rithm and technology. ww:25: [Further -> "Farther" denotes distance, "further" denotes time or quantity.], [one -> When used as a pronoun, it must be used consistently: One must manage one's money carefully.] [can -> (do not confuse with "may")] extrapolate towards the theoretical humanities; here, the constant refining is dependent both on the economics of schooling and institutional theoretization. ww:27: This dependency is taken as natural, part of the organization of the world and [its -> = "it is" or "its"?] discursive formations. ww:28: And it is borne along in the general overflow of post-late-capital into and within subjects and subjectivities - all of [which -> (use "that" if clause is restrictive)] are taken for granted, just as the 'natural' becomes deconstructed in favor of a generalized and politicized manageriality. ww:35: And those who are naturally excluded are borne by the stigmata of lack of degrees, poverty, problematic discourse; after all, [they -> (do not use as substitute for "each, each one, everybody, every one, anybody, any one, somebody, some one")] were not tamed or tuned by the academy, and, outside or other, remain to problematize the same. ww:40: Meanwhile the academy, [which -> (use "that" if clause is restrictive)] has always embraced totality, if [only -> Put "only" right before the word it modifies.] to de- construct it, theorizes the excluded as well, embracing terminologies of multiculturalisms, radicalisms, Levinasian alterities, as if something is being [accomplished -> did] - besides the continuation of the usual barriers. ww:45: Within the academy, the usual (again) self-congratulation on liberality and [attempt -> try]; outside the academy, the usual (again) nomadic behaviors, neuroses, poverty, and irritability, [on the part of -> by, among, for] those who dare to call themselves intellectuals (without the proper academic legitimation). ww:50: [So -> (do not use as intensifier)] it continues across the boards (of directors and directives) in this fashion, rage and alienation notwithstanding. 24 phrases in 15 sentences found. readability grades: Kincaid: 15.3 ARI: 16.7 Coleman-Liau: 14.9 Flesch Index: 33.5 Fog Index: 19.1 1. WSTF Index: 3.6 Wheeler-Smith Index: 56.0 = higher than school year 10 Lix: 59.8 = higher than school year 11 SMOG-Grading: 16.0 sentence info: 2116 characters 406 words, average length 5.21 characters = 1.72 syllables 15 sentences, average length 27.1 words 53% (8) short sentences (at most 22 words) 33% (5) long sentences (at least 37 words) 10 paragraphs, average length 1.5 sentences 2 questions, 2 imperatives longest sent 41 wds at sent 6; shortest sent 7 wds at sent 2 >>>> >>>> >>>> what **** Command 'what' not recognized. >>>> >>>> >>>> why **** Command 'why' not recognized. >>>> >>>> ________________________________________________________________________________ no copyright 2000 rolux.org - no commercial use without permission. is a moderated mailing list for the advancement of minor criticism. more information: mail to: majordomo@rolux.org, subject line: , message body: info. further questions: mail to: rolux-owner@rolux.org. archive: http://www.rolux.org